Nice :3

The proportions seem to mostly correct to me. As you surely noticed, the hands don't look perfectly natural. (Who doesn't have that problem too? ^^') If you want to improve that, then I suggest you to draw hand poses by looking at photos. Yeah, that seems uncreative and boring but with the time you will get the right fealing for drawing them. Of course it's the same with every other body part.

The poses are quite dynamic but unfortunately also standard poses. But I don't think that this has to be an absolutely bad fact because it's really hard to find poses which look individual and also interesting.

I also think that the picture would look more powerful with colors, especially because it's such a happy motive.

But my opinion is that the chance to become a mangaka is not measured by the ratings you get and trust me, there are many people out there who are trying for a long time (or at least they tell me so XD) and can't improve to your level. So the one last thing I have to write is:

GANBARE!!!! -^O^-

Nice message...

Often I think so too when seeing any couples kissing and especially sobbering for hours... >>'''

The picture makes you think properly about that topic, good work! I guess love (or love in the way that you mean in this case) is only beautiful as long as you don't have to watch it. ~____~

Nice picture :3

The face isn't absolutely correct but telling that it looks like shit isn't the right thing to do I think. o___o'

I guess SirCannabisClock meant that the right eye brow (from our point of view) should be positioned a bit more left. Moreover the eye lids are missing. Yeah I know, people often say that they aren't that important but leaving them away lets manga characters look like aliens. ^^'
The form of the hairline is quite irregular.

But it's really good that the face anatomy still looks so harmonic which is difficult to reach I think.

Maybe thats part of your drawing style but the shoulders are a bit large I personally think. If you want to let your drawing style look more manga-typical you should draw womens' shoulders smaller.

But don't give up hope yet! You obviously already gained lots of drawing skills and by trying to avoid previous mistakes your pictures will definitely get even better.